


The World We Live In

by deadp0et



Category: Supernatural, The Walking Dead
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:31:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8963260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadp0et/pseuds/deadp0et
Summary: Dean and Sam Winchester were separated from their father when the apocalypse started. They stopped looking for him after five years of nothing and now, when they come face to face with the infamous Negan, their lives come to a halt.





	1. Welcome Home, Dad

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it'd be cool to write a story where Dean and Sam's father is Negan, the big bad in the TV series The Walking Dead. 
> 
> This story is set in a post-apocalyptic world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what this even is

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

"Alright! We got a full boat. Let's meet the man." Someone whom I didn't know the name of knocked on the door of an old beaten down RV, the door swung open and a frame of a man appeared in the doorway, the shadows kept him hidden. I felt like this was what he wanted; he wanted to scare us. He was getting a kick out of this. My hatred towards this man was so strong and I hadn't even met him yet. As tension built and suspense washed through the group, I got more and more angry. I was ready to meet this man and I was ready to kill him. He jumped out of the RV and the shadows still kept him cloaked. Something about him seemed familiar.

"Pissin our pants yet?" The mysterious man took a step forward and the moonlight revealed him almost instantly. My breath caught in the throat and my eyes went wide. He took a couple of more steps towards the group. I don't think he noticed me, I don't think he noticed Sam. We were hidden in the shadows.

 _Sam._ I turned to face him and he looked more shocked than I had felt. _No._ _This can't be happening. This can't be him..._

"Oh boy, do I feel like we're getting close." He sauntered over to Eugene, the last one in the lineup, and started walking down the line. "Yeah, it's gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon." He had a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire on his shoulder and a smug smile on his face.

 _No, this can't be._ He did a walk through of the lineup, still not noticing Sam or myself. Cas reached for my hand and have me a reassuring squeeze. Once he was done examining us, he stopped walking.

"Which one of you pricks is the leader?" He scanned us again, only this time with his eyes.

"This one," one of this guy's men pointed to Rick and my heart rate sped up, "he's the guy."

Negan turned to face Rick and I watched carefully. "Hi, you're Rick, right?" He didn't wait for a reply. "I'm Negan. And I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you," he pointed to Rick, "killed more of my people. Not cool." He shook his head softly, "not cool. You have no idea how not cool that shit is, but I think you're gonna be up to sped shortly. Yeah, you are so going to regret crossing me in a few minutes." His lips pulled up into a smile. "Yes you are." His hand noticeably tightened around the neck of the bat. "See, here's the thing," he he clicked his tongue as he licked his lips, "I can't just let this slide, Rick. Someone has got to pay." Rick gave him the look that would be enough to terrify the holy hell out of anyone, but I knew Negan..John...I didn't know what to call him, wouldn't budge. He never was one to scare easily. He seemed to scan the group again, an evil grin making its way onto his face. "I just cannot decide," He looked up to the bat on his shoulder, "maybe ol' Lucille here can help me out." He pointed the bat at Rick's face and he noticeably flinched. "Eeny," he moved on to Sasha, "meeny," then to Aaron, "miney," his chant seemed to go on forever, until he landed on someone. I tried to get up and protest but Castiel grabbed onto my hand. I snapped my head in his direction and he just shook his head. "Well, here's the lucky winner." Abraham straightened and looked up at Negan defiantly. "You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you're all gonna be doin that." Without warning, he brought the bat up and swung it down. The sound the wood made when it hit Abraham's skull will probably give me shivers for the rest of my life. Tears prickled my eyes as blood gushed down his head, my heart shattered in my chest. Sam had buried his head in Cas's side. "Look at that, takin it like a champ!"

"Suck. My. Nuts." Abraham kept that defiant glare in his eyes, Negan chuckled and brought the bat down again, and again, and again. I let the tears fall from my eyes as I just knelt there in utter shock. My body was physically incapable of reacting to anything that was going on.   
********  
I was still in that very same position when all of Negan's men cleared out, and the sun began to rise. I hadn't moved an inch. I was just staring blankly at the woods in front of me. "Dean," I heard someone say my name, but I couldn't decipher who it was. "Dean." They placed their hand on my shoulder and I jumped. "I'm sorry.." Castiel. "Are you..okay?" I turned to look at him.

"I don't know." My tone was flat.

"Sam didn't see any of it, he's okay for the most part." Cas offered me a look of sympathy.

"That's good.." I let out a shaky breath and out of nowhere, I started sobbing. Castiel pulled me into his arms as I shook.

"Shhh, you're okay." He kissed the top of my head. "Everything is going to be fine. You're going to be okay."

"Hey," Rick walked over, his voice soft and exhausted. "Are you alright, Dean?" Cas let go of me and stood up, guiding Rick over to where I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I knew Cas was telling him that the man that just killed one of our men, was in fact Sam and I's father. I wiped my eyes and looked up, Rick's face fell almost instantly. They made their way back over to me and Rick squatted, sympathy washing over him. "Did he notice you or Sam?"

"I don't..know..." I was too drained to even talk.

"Let's get you back in the RV, and get you home, alright?" Cas helped me to my feet and led me to the vehicle.  
When we got back to the place I called home, Alexandria, I headed back to the house, which I shared with Rick, Carl, Sam, and Cas. I fell back onto my bed and just stared at the ceiling.

 _How did this happen?_ Sam and I searched for our Father for over five years, we never let up. Everything we found even remotely connecting to him, told us that he was dead. We learned to accept that and we tried so hard to move on. Well, Sam did. I still knew he was alive, I guess I was right. He was alive...only now, he didn't go by John, and he certainly is not the same guy he was when we got separated after everything happened. I had no idea how all of this was going to play out, I didn't even know if he remembered us. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I quickly got up from the bed and ran across the hall to the bathroom that Sam, Cas, and I all shared. I made it just in time to upchuck what little food I had in my system. "Fuck." I leaned against the cold tub and let my head fall back. _What the fuck am I going to do?_

"Dean," Sam walked in to the bathroom and worry spread across his face, "are you okay?" I forced myself to sit up and suppressed the nauseous feeling I had. 

"The next person that asks me if I'm okay is going to get decked in the face." I flushed the toilet and stood up, walking over to the sink and examining myself in the mirror. I looked even worse than I felt.

"Everyone is worried..about us..." He leaned against the door frame. "What are we going to do?" I sighed and let my head fall. "That was our dad out there, the same man that we thought was dead." I watched the expression on Sam's face change almost instantly. "Our dad killed Abraham." 

"I know." My voice was gruff.

"Our dad is the bat wielding maniac that-" 

"Sam, I was there." He jumped at the raise in my tone. "I'm sorry..I didn't mean to raise my voice like that."

"It's okay." We both just stood there for a good five minutes. "Carl told me to go talk to him, so.." Sammy turned on his heels and walked away. I looked at myself in the mirror, anger washing through me. Without thinking, I slammed my fist against the glass and shattered it. My hand started bleeding. I looked at my broken and shattered reflection staring back at me.

_How did I get here?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you guys liked it?


	2. I Am Not Okay

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

"Rick, I don't think that's a good idea. I need to-"

"No, Dean." He put his hand up. "The answer is no."

"Damnit, Rick. Listen to me!" He raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell but you're not listening to anything I have to say, you're just saying no." He waited for me to continue. "I need to see him, he needs to know that Sam and I are here. He's bound to find out eventually, we can't hide from him forever."

"That's where you're wrong," Rick headed outside to the front porch.

"What do you mean?" I followed him.

He sighed and stopped, turning to face me. "Dean, please don't fight me on this."

"Rick, what are you talking about?" I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Sasha and Maggie are heading over to The Hilltop, I arranged for you, Sam, and Castiel to go with them. You're going to be staying there, I don't know for how long, as long as it takes I suppose." I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off. "Don't argue with me on this, it's happening whether you like it or not. I swore that I would keep you and Sam safe the day I found you two in that alleyway, and if that means sending you to another community, than so be it."

"Rick," Aaron ran to the front porch steps, "Negan is here."

"What?" My heart started racing and I was about to head to the front gates when Rick grabbed onto my arm.

"No. Wait in the house with Sam and Castiel until I can get rid of him." I glared at him. "Don't look at me like that, go." He nodded his head in the direction of the front door, I could tell he wasn't going to budge. 

"Whatever." I pushed past him and walked back into the house. "Sammy, Cas." They both came up from the basement, "Dad..Negan is here." I didn't know what to call him. "Rick told me to wait in here with you guys until he's gone."

"Why do you want to talk to him so badly?" Sam looked hurt.

"Sam, please don't start with me. I've been dealing with Rick all night, I can't handle the both of you." He still looked like he was waiting for an answer and I knew he wouldn't stop pestering until he got one. "Fine." I sighed gruffly an Cas walked over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist. Having him by my side gave me strength. "I just want to know what happened to him." Sam's facial expression softened. "Before all of this happened, he wouldn't even kill a fly, now here he is-" I got choked up. "Jesus Christ." A lump of emotion clawed its way up my throat. I suppressed it as best as I could. "I always imagined what it would be like to run into him again. I imagined all three of us as family again, like we were before the outbreak. I just wanted one thing in this fucked up world to go okay, but I couldn't even get that." I let out a laugh/sob as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Dean, it's okay." Castiel pulled his arm away and was about to pull me into a hug when I heard _him._

"Come on, Rick. I just want to take a peek inside." I went cold almost instantly.

"Dean, don't go out there. Let's go downstairs." Castiel tried to pull me in the direction of the basement, but I wasn't going to move. 

"Rick said no." Sam's voice was laced with plead.

 _Come on, Dean. Man up._ "Yeah, well, Rick isn't my father." Sam looked scared. "It's okay, Sammy. You and Cas can go to the basement, okay?"

"Babe," I ignored Cas and headed towards the front door. I waited for them to go downstairs. He sighed heavily in defeat. "Be careful. I love you."

"I love you, too." Once they were gone, I took in a couple of shaky breaths. _Don't back out now._ I grabbed onto the knob but couldn't bring myself to turn it. _This could go really bad._ I groaned inwardly. "Fuck it." I opened up the door and Rick's head snapped in my direction, his expression was a mixture of fear and anger, presumably because I disobeyed his direct order to wait inside. _Don't think about that right now._ My eyes shifted to Negan, he was just staring at me. I couldn't tell what he was feeling. _Maybe this wasn't the smartest idea._ "I'm sorry, I just heard you two out here.." My voice faltered.

"Dean, I thought I told you-"

"Well I'll be damned." Negan pulled his lips up into a smile. "What a fucking coincidence." My stomach turned. "Christ, I thought you were dead." He walked up to me. "How are you? Are you doing okay?" Without missing a beat, I brought my fist up and punch him right in the nose, he stumbled backwards as he held his nose with his right hand, the baseball bat in his left. "Fucking shit," blood started dripping from his hand. "You always did have one hell of an arm." Two of his men ran up onto the porch, one of them shoved the butt of their shotgun into my stomach and I fell to my knees. The same guy was about to hit me with it again, "Hey! Back the fuck off!" Negan stepped up to the man, blood still gushing from his nose. Somehow, that made him look even more terrifying than he already did. "That kid you just hit, that's my son." The guys face went pale instantly. "Big mistake." He grabbed the guy by the scruff of his neck. "I'll deal with you later." And with that, he tossed the guy off the porch. "You okay?" He put his hand out to help me up but I didn't take it. I got myself up on my own.

"Ask me that one more time and I swear to god I'll break your nose this time." My abdomen was screaming at me.

"Is that any way to talk to your dad?" He made a tsk-tsk sound.

"Let's get one thing straight," I straightened my back in an attempt to make myself more intimidating "you are not my dad. That man right there," I pointed to Rick, "he's my Dad. He's the one who took care of me and the one who kept me safe. You're nothing more than the shell of the man who _used_ to be my father."

"Dean, that's enough-" Rick tried to speak up but Negan cut him off again.

"No, no. It's quite alright. You got guts, kid." He smiled. "Though, it didn't always used to be that way. If I remember things correctly, you were actually pretty, well, spineless, now that I think about it." He towered over me. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I could ask you the same thing." I held my ground.

He chuckled. "I guess the whole 'dead rising' thing changes people." God, I couldn't stand how condescending and smug he was. "Is your brother here?" He peered over my shoulder and into the house. "I'd sure love to see him."

"No." I stood in the doorway to keep him from getting inside. "I can assure you that the last person he wants to see right now, is you. You know, after what you pulled three days ago." For the first time in our conversation, I saw a tiny bit of what looked like regret, but it disappeared almost instantly.

"Another time then?" He smiled.

"Yeah, sure." I scoffed. "I think that's enough family time for today. Maybe you should go." He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Alright, I'm a reasonable man." His nose was still bleeding. "I'll leave." And with that, he was gone. Once I was sure that he and his mean had left, I ran over to the edge of the porch and threw up again. Rick ran to my side. 

"Are you-"

"No, I'm not fucking okay!" I turned to face him. "I'm not okay." I was waiting for Rick to scold me and tell me how stupid that was, but to my surprise, he actually praised me.

"That was one hell of a right hook." He cracked a small smile. "Did it feel good?" I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

"Yeah," I chuckled lightly, "it actually felt amazing."

"Good."

Without warning, I pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you..I just, I had to talk to him."

"It's alright, Dean. I'm not angry. Just please," he pulled away, "try not to get yourself into these kind of messes. Thing won't always go as smoothly as they just did, in fact, if you weren't his son, he may have actually killed you. I'm surprised he didn't fight back when you clocked him one."

"I knew he wouldn't do anything to me. He may be the biggest dick on the planet, but one thing he would never do is lay a hand on his children, or any children period." I sighed and looked out towards the community I lives in. "Everything is going to be just fine, I know that now."


	3. Can You Pass The Rolls Please?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the ending of the previous chapter so I could write this one.  
> Enjoy!

_Castiel's P.O.V. . ._

 

"If Dean asks where I went, just tell him I went with Maggie and Sasha, okay?" Sam nodded and I went to the door in the basement that lead to the back of the house. _Dean is going to kill me if he finds out what I'm doing._ I walked up the cement steps and stopped to see if I could hear anything.

"I'll leave." That was Negan. I peered around to the side of the house, I could see Negan walking back towards the gates, his nose was bleeding.

I smiled. _That's my boy._ I quicky sprinted behind houses so no one would see me. I was the only one at the gates when I got there and they were still open. I walked over to one of the trucks Negan's men had brought and I got into the back of it. I started smiling. "Nice job, Castiel."

"Do you always talk to yourself?" I jumped at the sound of another voice. I looked around but I didn't see anyone. "Right here." Jesus popped up from behind a stack of boxes. "Hey, Cas." He smiled and stepped out. "What brings you were?" I love how he made this seem like such a casual thing.

"I could ask you the same." I gave him a playful glare.

"Me? I'm here because I want to scout this guys place out." He sat down on the metal floor. "Your turn." I followed suit.

"I need to talk to Negan."

"And you couldn't do that here?" He gave me a questioning look.

"Dean wouldn't have let me. He feels like he has to prove something to his Dad."

"Rick?"

I shook my head. "Negan." His eyes went wide. "Rick found Sam and Dean hiding in a dumpster in an alleyway, Sam was really sick and Dean has extremely dehydrated."

"Okay, that part I knew, but I didn't know that Negan was their father."

"Yep, he is. Only, he used to go by John Winchester, before the epidemic. They got separated and ever since then Dean and Sam were under the impression that he was dead, but at the lineup the other night.." My voice faltered. "I just need to talk to Negan, that's all." We were both startled when we heard the truck's door open, and then close. The vehicle started up and then we were off. "No going back now." Jesus gave me a reassuring look. _Oh, yeah._ _Dean is going to kill me._  
*******  
"Just come with me to scout, I don't want you to get hurt. Dean would never forgive me." We had been arguing about this for a good thirty minutes. "Castiel, please just come with me. I would feel much better if you did, and besides that, you'll have other opportunities to talk to Negan, ones where you're back at Alexandria and you have the upper hand.

 _He isn't going to give up._ I thought for a second. "Fine, I'll go with you." He smiled, happy with himself. _I am such an asshole._

"Just in and out, real quick. Okay?" I nodded. "Get ready." He peeked out of the plastic strips that acted as a door for the truck. He got himself in a position where he could jump out. "Go!" He jumped and I stayed still.

 _Sorry, Jesus_. I peeked through the openings in the plastic shades, there were walkers in chains, struggling to get free. _Sickening._ I turned around to see if there was any weapons in here, sure enough, there was an entire box of guns. "Jackpot." I walked over to the box, grabbing the biggest gun I could find. _This one looks cool._ I checked to see if it was loaded and then made sure the the safety was off. My hands were shaking. _Not now, Cas. Breathe._ I took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to slow my heart rate down a bit. The truck came to a stop and I nearly lost my footing. "Fuck." I was getting more and more anxious by the minute. A man come around to the back of the truck and pulled the shades out of the way, tying them together so he could step into the truck. I steadied the gun, keeping the butt against my shoulder. He stepped up and jumped when he saw me.

"What the hell-" I pulled the trigger and a couple of bullets fired. The guy fell to the ground.

 _Holy shit._ More men ran over and I held the trigger down this time, killing at least 2 more of them. I stepped forward and took a step down so I could see them better. "Stay back, lower your weapons. I only want Negan. No one else needs to die." I heard the faint sound of whistling and then I saw him. He had that smug smile on his face that irritated the hell out of me. I aimed my gun in his direction, following him as he walked.

"Damn," he continued walking, "you are adorable." When he stopped, he grabbed the guy nearest to him and used him as a human shield. "Did you pick that gun cause it looks cool?" He chuckled. "You totally did, right?" I kept a straight face. "Kid, I ain't gonna lie. You scare the shit out of me." One of his men lunged towards me and I shot him. Someone tackled me to the ground. I quickly made a move and punched him in the face but he kept his hold on me, putting the gun that I had previously used, against my head. "Hey, back off." Negan approached us. The guy that tackled me to the ground also took the knife I had on my hip. Negan stood over me and put his hand out. "Is that any way to treat our new guest?" I eyed his hand wearily. "C'mon kid. I'll show you around." I was still hesitant for a couple of minutes. Finally, I took hid hand and he helped me to my feet. "Let's go."  
We arrived in this room, there must have been 6 or 7 women walking around. "Don't mind the kid, ladies. He's just visiting." They all seemed to act as though I was just another one of Negan's men. "Fell free to steal a few glances, kid. I don't mind, they certainly don't mind."

"Uhhh," I awkwardly shuffled my feet a bit. "Not interested."

"Huh," he gave me a curious glance. "Alright. Let's go then." He headed towards another door, this one led to a room, which I assumed to be his. There was a king sized bed neatly made and the decor was very modern, almost as though the breakout hadn't affected this place. He took his red scarf off and tossed it to the side. "Take a seat." I did as instructed and sat in one of the chairs. He took the couch directly across from me. "What brings you here?" My mouth suddenly went dry. "What? Cat got your tongue?" He smiled and chuckled softly. "Spit it out. Why are you here?"

"You need to stay away from Sam and Dean." _Way to be direct, Castiel._ He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Do I now?"

"He's been torn up about you these past couple of days. It's affecting him in negative ways and he doesn't need that in his life right now, neither does Sam. Rick is a good man, the only father figure they need in their life." He seemed to be thinking about what to say next.

"And who are you to tell me that I can't see my own sons? Hell, I thought they were dead for christ sake. Give me a break." He laughed again.

"What happened to you, John?"

"Don't call me that." That clearly struck a nerve.

"Dean used to tell me all of these stories about you, about how you'd cut the crust off of his sandwiches and how you'd take him to the movies every Friday, and he told me about how you'd sing Hey Jude by the Beatles to help calm him down if he'd wake up from a nightmare. What happened to that man?"

"He's dead. Gone." Negan sat up and put his elbows on his knees. "And he's not coming back."

"You're not their father anymore. You lost the title the second you picked up that stupid baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire-"

"Don't talk about her like that." He pointed a finger at me. "And not that I actually give a damn, but exactly who the fuck are you?"

"My name's Castiel, I'm Dean's-" I stopped talking. _Don't tell him you guys are together._ I groaned inwardly. _Well, you have to tell him now._ I mentally kicked myself. "I'm Dean's boyfriend, we've been together ever since Rick and his men found me about two and half years ago." I waited to see Negan's reaction, but he didn't really show one. "Well, are you going to say anything or are you just going to sit there?"

He chuckled. "Always knew he wasn't into chicks, I should've known that he was gay when he turned that girl Jo down. She was smokin hot and he acted like she was just another girl." He seemed to be remembering that moment. "So you've been together for what? Two and half years then?" I nodded. "Are you happy?" That question took me by surprise. 

"I-I...yeah, I'm happy."

He smiled, and not that smug smile that he always wore. This one seemed genuine. "Good, that's good. Is he happy?"

"I'd sure hope so, I try to make him as happy as I can."

He still had that smile on his face. "I'm glad the both of you are happy, then." The smile slowly disappeared. "But you do not get to tell me that I can't see my own kids. I own you and your group now, I can do as I please."

I stood up and walked over to him. I gave him a menacing glare. "You're not going to go near the two of them, and if you do so help me god.." Negan chuckled again and rubbed his beard with his fingers. 

"I can see why you and Dean work so well together." He then stood up, but I didn't back off. "I admire your fearlessness, kid. Not a lot of men are able to step up to me and look at me the way you are right now. Hell, if we weren't here, in my sanctuary, I might actually be a little afraid that you'd kick my ass then hand it to me a gold fuckin' platter, but here's the thing," he grabbed onto the hem of my shirt and I quickly fought back, pushing his hand away.

"Don't touch me." His lips pulled into a smile.

"Exactly the reaction I was hoping for." He clapped me on the shoulder. "Come on, let's get you home."  
*******  
"Dean, I'm home." Negan sing-songed as we walked into the house. I've been regretting this moment since we left.

"What the hell?" Dean walked into the living room, "what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Jee, Dean. You're welcome for not killing your boyfriend for slaughtering three of my men." Dean looked confused. "Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe Castiel should tell you." Negan stepped back and watched like a 14 year-old witnessing his first fight. "This is gonna be fun." He stopped for a second. "Wait! Where's Sam?" Get him in here would you." He motioned for Dean to call for him.

"Sam, come into the living room, it's okay." He slowly stepped into the room, keeping his eye on Negan the whole time.

"Well, I'll be damned. Look at you," Negan looked him up and down, "you're much taller than I remember."

I chose to move on and continue what Negan started. "Dean, I'm sorry.."

"Whatever you did, it's fine. I'm not worried about it." Negan seemed surprised. "What I am worried about is why you're here," Dean turned to face Negan, "you do not get to be here. Get out."

"Excuse the fuck out of my goddamn french but who the hell do you think you're talking to? You may be my kid but I do not tolerate disrespect. Now he," Negan pointed to me, "gunned down three of my men, and I didn't even lay a finger on him."

"What do you want me to say?" Dean glared at him.

"How about a thank you, Dean?" Dean scoffed. "I'm going to let that one slide." His grip on the bat noticeably tightened. "Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. You're giant man sized balls." I had a feeling things were gonna get bad. "You don't get to tell me where I can and can't go. I _own_ you. I own everything here, including this house."  He straightened his back out. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten angry." He took a deep breath, then proceeded to take his shoes and socks off, then he placed his bat against the wall. "Now, how about I whip up something to eat?" He smiled and headed to the kitchen.

What the fuck is happening? _  
_ Negan made spaghetti with some dinner rolls and lemonade. He sat at the table, I sat next to him, Dean and Sam sat across from us. The table was completely silent and none of us had made any attempt to grab the food. It seemed like this was going on for over an hour. Negan coughed, breaking the silence. "Can you pass me the rolls?" Dean grabbed the bowl, stood up, and tossed it into the trash.

"Opps. I'm sorry." He gave Negan and innocent look and I tried my hardest not to laugh.

Negan got up. "You're goddamn lucky I'm in a good mood. I'll be upstairs in Rick's-" he stopped talking, "I'm sorry, my bed. Holler if you need me." And with that, he left the room.

"Did you have to throw away the rolls?" I stifled another laugh.

"I had to prove a point." He seemed pretty happy with himself. "But hey, we still have the spaghetti." He smiled and sat back down, ruffling up Sam's hair before serving us all some food.

"Dean," he stopped for a second, "I love you."

His face softened. "I love you, too, Castiel."


	4. I don't break promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, I'm sorry

_Dean's P.O.V. . ._

 

Castiel's soft snores offered a more than welcome break from the deafening silence. I pulled him closer to me and he stirred gently. "You're so handsome when you sleep," my voice was nearly inaudible. I was startled when I heard a soft knock on the door. "Who's there?" I spoke up a bit, being sure not to wake Castiel.

"Negan." My heart rate sped up, "Come downstairs." With that, he left and I groaned inwardly.

"Cas, baby," I rubbed his back gently, he made a soft kitten noise and his eyes fluttered open, "I have to go downstairs, I'll be back up soon." I slipped out from under the blanket and Castiel immediately fell back to sleep. I stalked down the stairs and into the living room, "what do you want?" He smirked. "It's like 2 a.m., why are you awake?" I walked over to a chair and sat down.

"I could ask you the same thing, Kid." He was sitting on the couch across from me.

"Just thinking about a lot of things, I guess." He eyes me intently.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I scoffed, he looked confused. "Oh, you're serious," I cleared my throat. "I'm thinking about mom." The mood in the room changed instantly. "Bad topic?" He chose to ignore my side comment and gestured for me to continue. "When she was in the hospital, I think a day before the outbreak hit the hospital, she knew something was coming, I remember. You were holding mom's hand, and she was talking to you, I think you guys assumed I was asleep.." His eyes widened in shock. "She pulled you in and asked you if you could promise to keep Sammy and I safe, and you looked her in the eyes and said, "I swear to god I will never let any harm come to my boys" those were your exact words." A glossy film covered my eyes and I swallowed thickly. "I just can't help but think about her..what she thinks about all of this, what she thinks about you," he opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him, "I told Castiel I wouldn't be too long." As I pushed myself up off of the couch, Negan got up and he looked like he was about to pull me in for a hug. I quickly dodged and headed back up the stairs, stopping outside my bedroom door. _Breathe, Dean._ I calmed myself down before going back into the bedroom.

_Negan's P.O.V. . ._

 

My heart shattered as Dean deliberately dodged my attempt at showing him any sort of affection. I kept my heartbreak masked as I poured myself a glass of bourbon. _You deserved that._ My subconscious kicked me a couple of times as I swallowed all of the glass's contents. All of this was so overwhelming, even for me. Hell, I thought my kids had died after I lost my wife. This was all just a big mess. I poured another shot and threw it back, the amber liquid slid down my throat with ease. _Rick needs to hurry on this supply run.  
_ When the sun rose, I was still awake, but I pretended to be asleep as I heard the faint sound of Dean's voice traveling down the stairs. "I'll go get the guns, you get the supplies."

"Baby," there was silence for a moment, then I heard a kissing sound, "don't forget your machete. I love you."

"I'd never forget my machete. And I love you." Once I heard the front door close, I opened up my eyes again and sat up.

 _Should I go see what they're doing?_ I contemplated for a moment. _Fuck it._ I pushed myself up off the couch and slipped into my leather jacket, then slipping into my boots and tying them. I went out the front door and grabbed my bat by the handle. I saw Dean and Cas heading towards the gate, I jogged to catch up. "Boys," they both turned around at the same time, "where are you headed?" Dean rolled his eyes.

Castiel cleared his throat. "We're just going out, Dean and I needed some time alone." I nodded in understanding. "We'll see you later." He offered me a small smile and Dean grabbed his hand, leading them both to the front gates. I sighed and turned around, heading back into the house.

 _What to do, what to do.._ I walked over to the bar area and found a bottle of amber liquid to sip from. _Ah yes_. I picked up the bottle and took a long swig. _Damn_. My face contorted at the harsh taste of the potent alcohol. "Not too bad." I took another gulp.  
After the bottle was almost gone, I finally put it down and wobbled over to the couch, throwing myself down and putting my face into the pillow. closing my eyes so I could take a nap. This is definitely what I need.  
*****  
"Negan," I heard someone call my name, "Negan, get up. It's important." I groaned and buried my face deeper into the pillow. "It's urgent." 

 _Fuck._ "Someone better be dead." I pushed myself into sitting position and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "What's going on?" I looked up, Perry was standing in front of me. 

"Two of these people, they killed five more of our men." I got up and put my jacket back on, grabbing my bat as Perry and I stepped outside. When we turned a corner, my breath caught in my throat. Dean and Castiel were on their knees, guns pointed at their heads. "Here are the guys who did it, just thought you otta know, boss." 

I took a step closer to them, trying to keep my nerves calmed. _What am I going to do?_ I just stood there, looking from Cas to Dean. _I have to punish them._ Just the mere thought of hurting either one of the two made me flinch. "So," I gripped onto the handle of my bat, "am I to understand you killed five more of my guys?" I wasn't expecting an answer. And when I didn't get one, I followed that question up with another one . "Why?" Still no answer. I brought my bat up and slammed it down onto the concrete, creating a loud thud. "I asked a goddamn question." 

"I..they-" Cas got choked up. 

"They insulted Castiel and I for kissing, then threatened to kill the both of us." Dean looked over to Perry, a murderous look in his eyes. "They deserved it." 

"You son of a.." Perry pistol whipped Dean and he fell to the ground. 

"Hey!" I pulled Perry back. "What the fuck did you do that for?" He just snarled and pulled his arm away from my grasp. Cas tried tot end to Dean, but my men stopped him. "You guys," they all turned their attention to me, "let the kid help." Everyone backed off immediately. "Perry," I looked over to him, "apologize for hitting that kid." He opened his mouth to protest. "I don't want to hear it. Apologize, now." He made no effort. "Do not make me repeat myself." 

He growled. "Fine." He turned to Dean, who was now back on his knees, a hand covering his eyes and blood visible. "I'm sorry." There was no meaning behind those two words and I knew it. After a couple of seconds of silence, I brought my bat up and swung it down onto Perry's back. He fell to the concrete and screamed out in pain. I hit him twice more, bending down so he could hear me. 

"Don't say sorry if you don't fucking mean it." I walked over to Dean and Castiel. "You need some help?" Cas nodded and I helped Dean to his feet. "Come on, let's get you to the infirmary." When we got there, the resident doctor was gone. Great. "Well, boys, looks like we're going to have to improvise. Cas, bring Dean over there and sit him down." I walked over to the first aid kit, grabbing some hydrogen peroxide, cotton balls, bandages, and a needle and thread. "Alright," I pulled a chair over by where Dean was and sat down so we were face to face, "I have to clean this out to see if you need stitches or not." I grabbed a cotton ball and poured a little bit of peroxide on it, wiping the ball over the gash. Dean winced. "How are you doing?" He only flipped me off. Cas kicked him. "It's okay, Cas," I kept my focus on cleaning the wound, "I actually found that to be rather amusing." My lips pulled up into a smile. "Well, it doesn't look like you need stitches, I'll bandage you up and then you should be good as new. Might have a little scar there, though." I threw away the bloody cotton balls and Dean watched me intently. "Can I help you with something?" 

"Nothing, it's just.." His voice was deep and gravely, "I've never seen you like this...the caring side of you, I should say." I chuckled at that. "Why are you helping me? Why'd you take your stupid bat to that guy out there?"

I turned to face him. "I don't break my promises." 


End file.
